Bad head day…

what a difference a few days can make! On Monday I was in a great frame of mind – really positive, had good feedback from Melody on how my posing was coming along, I was feeling full of energy and had a great training session with Aiden – my legs have been sore for 2 days!

but yesterday and today its completely changed – I’m feeling really flat, I haven’t slept very well for the last 2 nights – usually I get to sleep really easily about 9:30 then wake up 4 hours later but can generally get back to sleep for another 2-3 hours. Then when I wake up about 4 ish, I meditate until I get up at 5:30. If I get a good meditation in I generally feel quite rested and well but the last 2 nights I’ve been waking up earlier than 4 hours, not getting back to sleep so easily and then walking up at 4 and not getting a good meditation. I generally feel a bit off centre when I don’t get a good meditation and yesterday at work by 11:30 I was so out of energy I just crashed – you know that really tearing sort of tiredness where you can’t keep your eyes open and your body feels so heavy? that one – I even had to head off to the ladies at work for a 5 minute snooze. Not that it helped, so I tried a walk round the building and a cup of green tea…lunchtime couldn’t come soon enough at 12.

Today I’m just fed up – I’m really fed up with the constant pain in my shoulders its just always there, no respite – when I get up in the morning I can hardly lift my arms to put my gym gear on. I saw myphysio today and he wants me to get xrays to see if I have ‘chalky’ bones – super. Just wondering if he has any idea – last week he thought I’d torn the cartilage. Maybe the physio I saw in February had the most accurate diagnosis – ‘screwed’ was his opinion.

I’m fed up with the leg soreness I dont know if that has anything to do with my crappy posing today –   I just couldn’t get to grips with it – I sucked. Everything was out of line or  I couldn’t hold the shape or it was just plain the wrong shape. And where have my legs gone? I couldn’t get the definition to show at all! I couldn’t pivot properly, my legs shook the whole time and my ankles are sore where I’ve sprained them so many times and from wearing such high heels. I’m fed up with not being able to train properly – today was chest day, but I can’t do any sort of presses because of my shoulders..

its so frustrating!

I can’t help wondering how much bigger I would be if I’d been able to train my upper body properly for the last 5 months.

But I must stop thinking  like that – I am where I am and I just need to work with what I can do.

oh yes and my new protein powder is triggering my coeliac, which could also explain my lack of energy, but now my stomach is all bloated and…sore! great.

not happy Jan.

I’m so glad that I’ve got to know Noella at work – she is also a figure competitor and is being such a great help to me at the moment. She is so calm and is explaining exactly what I can expect and what she experienced – its so nice to have someone to talk to who understands!

I think its time to be kind to me and have a nice hot bubble bath – I really need to sleep tonight, am training with Aiden tomorrow and its back day – yay!

This entry was posted in Head Space Stuff, Recent. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Bad head day…

  1. Noela says:

    hey are really sweet mentioning me…happy to chat whenever you feel angry/depressed/lethargic/like crying/aggressive etc…it’s all part of the process.
    as for your legs if they are sore they are full of lactic acid which is why the lines don’t show when you pose….also you may be carb depleted which again means you don’t get that nice ‘pump’ in your muscles and look flat….it’s normal – part of the journey
    stay strong in your mind and i have no doubt you will get through it…just keep visualising how amazing you will look on the day and enjoy the process…and when it gets too much just grab me for a coffee session :)

  2. Hey, you’ve been fantastic – its great that you’re around – I promise not to whinge and complain every time we do coffee!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>